Have you ever noticed how easy it is to skip celebrating you or team’s accomplishments? Too often we quickly check-off the “done” box and race on to the next thing. However, if you do that, you’re missing out on a chance to fuel future accomplishments and feel good.
A coaching client recently shared a scenario with me in which she did a great job handling a difficult situation with a long-term employee. She finished the story and then immediately started talking about the next topic. I said, “Wait, let’s celebrate what you accomplished and what you learned!” I asked her to share reflections on these three questions: “What went well? What didn’t go so well? What will you do differently next time?” This process is valuable for three reasons.
- Recognizing and celebrating what you do well gives your brain a dopamine reward. Your brain pays attention to your “feel-good” moments and calculates what’s needed to repeat that action in the future.
- Identifying and naming what went well and what didn’t go so well helps you appreciate your progress. Looking back on the experience from an observer standpoint, rather than an active participant, gives you an opportunity to learn more deeply from your experience.
- Unpacking and clarifying what you want to do differently (if anything) in the future nurtures your continued growth.
Understanding the logical reasons why celebrating is important is all well and good but we’re emotional creatures. Imagining what your celebrations might look like and sensing how they might feel will start painting a new image in your mind’s eye.
What does celebration look like?
Here are some ideas for you to consider:
- Give yourself a dopamine burst first thing in the morning by completing a morning ritual. This could be as simple as making your bed or as complex as several practices that you do before going to work. Celebrate sticking to it.
- During the day when you finish something that was challenging for any reason, give yourself a little, “Yay me!” moment. I think of this as a “trickle charge.”
- Celebrate on a regular basis with an accountability buddy or coach. Look back over a week or month and share everything you’re proud of accomplishing.
- Write three things that you’re grateful for each day. Taking a moment to notice the positive things happening in your life (no matter how small!) feels good and when you feel good, that energy radiates out to others.
- If you’re celebrating at work, ask each team member how they’d like to celebrate. You’ll likely have some people who want private recognition and others who love public praise. Let them design what works best for their team.
What are the feelings associated with celebrating?
I invite you to play with a mixture of three emotions, out of the 87 written about by Brene Brown in her newest book, Atlas of the Heart.
Ask yourself: How do these emotions show up in my beliefs and actions related to celebration?
Pride is a feeling of pleasure or celebration related to our accomplishment or efforts.
Think of this feeling of pride as being associated with a sense of accomplishment, mastery, triumph, confidence, and self-worth. It’s not a shallow sense of pride. Brown distinguishes this kind of pride as an authentic pride.
When you’re choosing what you want to celebrate, notice what you feel proud of accomplishing. For example, I feel proud when I finish my morning ritual.
Gratitude is an emotion that reflects our deep appreciation for what we value, what brings meaning to our lives, and what makes us feel connected to ourselves and others.
When you have a gratitude practice and are capturing what you’re grateful for on a regular basis, celebration feels like a natural outcome. You can even do it as you’re reflecting on what you’re grateful for.
Humility is openness to new learning combined with a balanced and accurate assessment of our contributions, including our strengths, imperfections and opportunities for growth.
Think about the skills you’re focused on growing or the kind of leader you’re becoming. Consider how you’re progressing. For example, have you stepped outside your comfort zone and taken on a challenging project or task? Even if you did it imperfectly, what do you want to celebrate?
As you delve into the nuances of celebration, it feels like a switch you flip on the inside. You get to decide what’s meaningful for you to celebrate. Then, you get to choose a pleasurable style of celebrating. Right now…what do you want to celebrate? I’d love to hear your answer to that! Send me an email to Jalene@JaleneCase.com.
This blog was reprinted with permission from Jalene. To learn more about Jalene and her work, visit jalenecase.com
Competency